RIP - Nick P Bodycombe (SHB, 69-76)

Born in 1958 to Gareth and Margaret, he spent his formative years a stone's throw from this church on Eversley road. He was the youngest of four siblings, playing little brother to Elizabeth, David and Simon. He developed his caring nature through his love of animals, raising gerbils and guinea pigs from an early age and spending time with their family dog Toby, and later Sam.

It is therefore fitting that the two words that were included most in the sympathy cards that we received as a family described Dad as caring and kind. You never truly know how other people see the most important people in your life, so the kind words and good wishes have confirmed everything that we believed. That he cared deeply about the people around him, constantly striving to make connections whether through a shared interest or some obscure common ground. Dad knew how to make connections.

He started to form the first of these through his school days, having been sent off to join his two older brothers at Christ College Brecon - with his cousin Mike and where he would go on to meet lifelong friends, including Phil. They were able to build a shared camaraderie that continues to this day, in the Old Breconians Association, built on the playing fields as he showed his adeptness at both Rugby and Cricket. Including a Rugby victory over a touring New Zealand schools team - perhaps the only victory that a Welsh team will ever have over New Zealand. These formative experiences would go on to shape the kind of man he was, strong, but aware of how important emotions are when interacting with people.  He was also 1st XI Cricket captain and Head of House.

He would go on to study Economics at Manchester Polytechnic with hopes of becoming a stockbroker. However he ended up returning to South Wales and living in the Mumbles, moving through a variety of jobs before joining the Universities sector; despite the fact that he had never wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps. However, he thoroughly enjoyed his university career. Which ended with him leading the European Research Office at Cardiff University. Throughout his career, if a job wasn't to his liking, he would tweak it until it was, usually involving his love of Europe and his unofficial role as Tourist ambassador for Wales.

In the summer of 1984, he met Caroline, our mum, after an impromptu meeting over burger and chips; whom he would then propose just 3 months later, and throw out his little black book shortly after. They were fortunate to have 40 happy years together, filled with love and laughter. The keen eared amongst you will have noticed that there probably wasn’t sufficient time for Dad to ask his prospective father in law’s permission to propose. I’m advised that this was settled with the help of a whole bottle of whiskey liqueur. He became a firm fixture in the West family from then on, marrying Mum in Coventry, in May 1986.

Dad suffered with various bouts of ill health throughout his life and his early exposure to this helped to shape his view of how to deal with it. He would routinely tell us that laughter was the best medicine, and this is how he approached every adverse situation he was presented with throughout his life. This is best exemplified by one of the first things he said when he went into Ty Olwen, the hospice. When asked what his priorities were for his final days, his only response was “friends and family”. He remained true to himself to the end, remembering the name of every nurse, porter and doctor he interacted with. As he left for Ty Olwen, the staff in Ward 12 all gathered to say an emotional goodbye, showing the tremendous effect he had been able to have on them in such a short period of time.

I (Ben) was born in 1993, shortly followed by Rory in 1996. He was a loving, caring father and he ensured that he was involved in every aspect of our lives, despite making the trek up to Cardiff every day for work. He mirrored his father in showing up to every game we played in, in spite of both mine and Rory’s significantly lower skill and fitness level.

Dad held a firm belief in the principle of reciprocity—never taking from any organisation without giving back. And it's fair to say he did this, taking on a number of voluntary roles including:

Chairman of the 44th Sketty Scouts, Chairman of the Parish Advisory Council at St Davids, a supporter of the Clyne Valley Biodiversity Group, and an advocate for STEM outreach through “Science Made Simple.” Amongst many more. Though he knew how to have fun as well, taking part in our primary school’s parent pantomime throughout our time there.

He was sure to never miss the opportunity to make a new friend, building connections on his commute to Cardiff with his “train buddies” as Mum called them, including Neil Reynolds, this led to some interesting holidays with groups of friends through Gabalfa getaways. He was incapable of being anything but fully interested in what someone else had to say, but never too nosey. He had that rarest of abilities, to make you feel truly heard. Unfortunately for us, this manifested in it taking around an hour to leave church as he chatted to friends about what was happening in their lives; similarly, he was always the last to leave a party. Mum had to give him a half-hour warning to start saying his goodbyes. He loved to entertain people, and it was not unknown for him (in his youth) to climb on a table and sing Hymns and Arias at the top of his voice. It was once his great pleasure to meet Max Boyce, I’m not sure Max felt the same, as they were in the loo at the time. Thankfully he was able to put his voice to good use latterly in his life after he retired, joining Mumbles Acapella Choir, who we’re very thankful are here today.

Family had always been important to Dad, with his brothers and cousin Mike close by, there were many get togethers with the whole family over the years before my cousins, Rory and I flew the nest, with Simons infamous barbecuing and Dad being a raconteur who loved to tell a joke, embellishing as he went along. This became great sport with friends and family, who loved to interrupt and never allow him to get to the punchline. I certainly will miss drifting off in my own thoughts during one of his soliloquies that veered off into multiple tangents, coming to my senses minutes later with Dad still nowhere near the punchline and having lost the majority of the group en route. But he took it all in good part. He had a fount of knowledge on all sorts of obscure subjects, which meant he was never short of a topic of conversation.

He often imparted wisdom to his sons, reminding us frequently that ‘persistence and determination are omnipotent’. For many years, we believed this to be his own profound insight. However, it later became apparent that he had omitted to mention that this was, in fact, a paraphrased quote from 30th president of the United States, Calvin Coolidge. Plagiarism concerns aside, the full quote, much like Dad himself, highlighted the importance of grit and resolve in achieving success and overcoming challenges. The full quotation is as follows:

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

And this is how he approached his life, giving his all to everything he did. Be that frustration with Welsh Rugby or the England cricket team, his love of the European Union or obsession with wildlife and the state of our planet, or friendships and family.

Losing someone close to you is always difficult. We will miss his boundless encouragement, his wisdom and his kind words. We will also miss his laughter and his essay style whatsapp messages.

The most painful of these is the knowledge that there are chapters of his life that will never come to pass.

But although this is a loss to no one’s gain, we are all made stronger for carrying him with us. He will continue to guide our hearts and our voices . In any trial or tribulation, quandary or conundrum, how fortunate am I to be able to ask myself 'what would my dad do?' And trust that the outcome will always be the right one.

Thanks to Ben Bodycombe